It's been awhile...

I've been single for almost 2 months now.  Feelings are dying down a little, so it's making a lot of things easier.  As days go by, the feelings keep dying; I guess this would be a good thing since it's what everyone wants.  I didn't think I could move on, not saying that I have, but I think I'm getting there.  It took over a month to free good and bad thoughts that kept me up all night. I think I'm back in my groove of sleeping again.  I used to not be able to sleep at night, and I'd go to Denny's at 2 or 3 in the morning because I couldn't sleep.  The early morning waitresses basically knew me when I came in, is how bad it was.  Working out in Fitness was the only time I didn't worry about anything and was in my own zone.  I feel bad now for making others feel like crap when I was all depressed.  To whomever is reading this, I do apologize.  To those who have stuck with me, thanks. 

Life feels quite numb right now.  I wake up in the morning not wanting to get up.  I really don't know what motivates me to get up anymore.  I knew before, but now I get up just because it's a routine.  I wake up every day feeling like shit and wanting to sleep forever.  haha Levie says that if I keep up having only 3 hours of sleep I will be able to sleep forever when I'm 30 or 40, dying early due to lack of sleep.  School sucks cock because I have a new Physics project every other week to do and present in class.  The teacher is a nut and doesn't know how to teach.  Speech 225 is basically a repeat of Interpersonal Communications, so that class is damn boring.  I don't take notes at all because I make my own study guide for the exams and ace 'em (except the first exam where I blanked out and stopped writing halfway into a sentence and turned it in without realizing what I was doing...I think I was a zombie and sleptwalked).  There's a website final that I've been working on for class, and it fucking sucks.  I've put at least 50 hours into it all on my own.  Then there's an individual Physics project I have to work on.  This quarter sucks cock and needs to be over with.

Weekends are soiled due to work, even though I do work with some cool mother fuckers.  Long hours with strict rules and so much stress on my position is great right after a great week of stress from school.  Then to top all of that stress off, my love life hasn't been so great either.  Because of all that, I'm quitting my job at Blockbuster.  I put in my 2 weeks today.  My boss didn't seem very enthusiastic to hear about it.  I'm one of the few that don't complain about my job and actually do it well even though the pay is horseshit.  I've only been working there because my coworkers are cool and to kill time because weekends suck fucking cock now.  Most of the time I just spend dragging myself around figuring out stuff to do.  Now that I'm all better mentally and physically, I'm going to spend more time with my family.  I've been neglecting them, not because of choice, but because I've been fucked up.

On another note, I've been hanging out with Levie, Kat, Rosie and Ryan a lot lately.  It's been pretty fucking sweet.  Levie and I have 1 or 2 days set out just to Warcraft 3.  I'm hanging out with Tiff less which we both agreed on because I felt like her 2nd boyfriend.  It's kinda making me feel less like one; although, I do miss hanging out with her.  I finally put my neon light kit in my car, which I've been planning for a long time.  Since I have so much free time now, it's easier to do randomass unnecessary things.  I ordered the Logitech Z-680s and these beasts are sick.  I've gained 11lbs from just working out for almost 2 months; goal is 1lbs more to hit 110 (previously 98lbs).  Allergies and canker sores are kicking my ass.  Wingdom is fucking great.  Kamakazi wings are so fucking good, but don't eat a 7 Alarm unless you want canker sores and fried sinuses.  Tony and Linda are coming up to visit tomorrow.  Can't wait cuz I haven't seen those fuckers for awhile.